THE SWEET GIRLS GUIDE

This doesn't have to do with being beautiful or glamorous. You don't even have to believe you are a showpiece. All that matters is convincing him.

But how? Probably the opposite of what you've been doing all your life. Male thinking is very different from female thinking.

A man pursues a woman and he is "being romantic."
She pursues a man and she is "mentally unstable."

Action: A man calls his girlfriend five times in one day just to say "I love you."
Result: She is delighted.
Action: A woman calls her boyfriend five times in one day just to say "I love you."
Result: He thinks she is needy, clingy, and crazy.
Action: A man is always leaving his girlfriend little notes and gifts.
Result: She shows them off to her friends with pride.
Action: A woman is always leaving her boyfriend little notes and gifts.
Result:  He examines them with fear and uneasiness, and wonders if he has a stalker.

(Really, you may as well have left him a dead rat.)

Action: A man tells his girlfriend he wants to get serious and make a commitment.
Result: She leaps into his arms with joy.
Action: A woman tells her boyfriend she wants to get serious and make a commitment.
Result:  He starts avoiding her and tells his friends she's a "totally obsessive psycho-chick."

FACT:  The more you try and please a man, the less pleased he will be with you.

"The more a woman serves a man, the less he will serve her. The more his mind will wander to other females who don't serve. The more he will think about how he can serve these females, and thereby win them."

Just as we don't understand male thinking, they don't understand ours either.

As women our philosophy is "You have to give to receive."

We try to teach our men how to show love by setting a good example. We do all the things for him that we want him to do for us in return. We believe the only way to get love is to give love. It's the golden rule isn't it? Shouldn't you unto others as you would have them to unto you?

But how often is a woman left with streaming tears: "I just don't understand it. I do so much to show him I care and it's like it doesn't even matter. If he only did a tenth of the things for me that I do for him, I would be so happy."

You fall into the trap of trying to be the perfect girlfriend, in the hope that he will become the perfect boyfriend.

It just doesn't work. Want to know what his problem is? He thinks you're compensating for an inadequacy.

By his reasoning, you must be lacking in some crucial way and have to make up for it by putting in extra effort. The more you do for him, the more he's going to think something must be wrong with you.

His next step will be to whip out a magnifying glass and start hunting for the faults he thinks you're trying to cover. If you go looking for flaws in a person, you are sure to find them.

Next thing you know, you can't do or say anything right. By your misguided actions you have told him you are "less than," and he is "greater than." Your loving gestures have been twisted into proof of your insufficiency.

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Ask youself this question - Who are the people you are the most polite and considerate to? People with higher prestige and importance than yourself. Correct?

And who are the people you can get away with being rude and inconsiderate to? People of lesser importance and prestige than yourself. Right?

By being so nice and flattering to him you are really saying "I think you're better than me. Your status is higher than my own."

He doesn't read it as you being nice and doing the right thing. He thinks you are kissing his...uh... foot.

Instead, try coming off a little superior. Like you are doing him a favor be gracing him with your presence. You're the prize.

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A showpiece wouldn't have to go through all that trouble. A showpiece would consider him lucky just to be with her.

With every thoughtful gift, with every romantic note, with every cute message you leave on his voice mail, he gets the message: "I'm not good enough for you."

I know that is not the message you mean to send. But the only thing that matters is the message he receives. What you say doesn't count. What counts is how he interprets it.

What you say:
*beep* "Hi honey! I'm just calling to let you know I'm thinking of you, and I love you and I miss you. Please call me back. You know I'd do anything for you!"

What he hears:
*beep* "Hi honey! I'm just calling because I know you'll forget about me the moment I'm out of view. Please call me back because I'm insecure. I'm so grateful you're willing to be seen with me in public I'd do anything for you."

Truths of Life...

1) You can only love a man as much as he lets you.

It is an unfortunate fact that 98% of the male population reacts bady to acts of loving kindness. That is why we refrain from giving them too much reassurance.

2) Men forget they are in love with you the moment they are out of pain.

Tempted as you may be to ease his longing, it is that same suffering that tells him he loves you. You'd be astonished how fast that fact can slip his mind.

Next section I show you how to "get off the hamster wheel" and end the relationship cycle most women unwittingly fall into.